When you’re running late…,

Trust me, if ever you are running late for an appointment, for work, or whatever, everything that can possibly go wrong will choose that day to do so. I think it must be Murphy’s Law or something but you can guarantee that the morning you sleep in will be the morning that no matter what you do, nothing is going to get you out the door in reasonable time to make it to work only slightly late.

On that morning, anything that can possibly slow you down will do just that and maybe you’d be better off calling in sick and going back to bed. For starters the kettle will take forever to boil. The hot water will take it’s own good time to reach your shower . You’ll find you forgot to get the bread out of the freezer which means you can forget about making lunch but if you think that will save you some time forget it because then you won’t be able to find your wallet to check if you have enough in there to buy some. This particular hassle will re-emerge at lunchtime when you nick out to the ATM only to find it’s on the blink and there’s a long line of people and only one teller operating inside the bank.

But back to the morning. There will be something amiss with whatever you pull out of the wardrobe and you’ll spend ages deciding what else to wear and nothing will look right. Or the thing you really wanted to wear will be the thing you forgot to wash but you’ll spend ages looking for it because you have forgotten that you forgot to wash it. You’ll be ready to scream by this point.

If you have kids they will do things like linger over breakfast and then won’t be able to find their shoes/socks/schoolbag/something else that’s vital and the more you try to hurry them the longer they seem to take. You probably will be screaming by this point but it will be a wasted effort because they’ll ignore you.

Then the cat will get stuck on the top of the bookshelf (what was he doing up there anyway!!!), the phone will ring, a kid will throw up all over carpet, the phone will ring again and some random will show up on your doorstep to see if you want to donate some time on the weekend to the community markets or something. The cat will be really complaining by this time and you’ll have to climb up there and get him because He Won’t Come Down!

One of the most frustrating things though when you are seriously running late is Bad Hair. You might have the kind of hair that other women would kill for but if you are seriously behind time it won’t go right no matter what you do and because it’s your hair you’ll waste precious time battling with it to try and make it look at least half way decent and it won’t work. I don’t know why this is but it always seems to happen like that.

Eventually though you will be ready to run out the door and uh oh, where are those car keys? It will be the one morning when they are not where they usually are and you will literally turn the place upside down looking for them and they won’t be in your bag, on the table, under the sink or in the fridge. The kids won’t have any idea. Eventually you will find them but it will be in the most ridiculous place and you’ll blame everyone else until you remember that it was atually you who dropped them on the coffee table and then put your book down on top of them without thinking. Then you won’t apologise to anyone. You’ll end up being incredibly late for work and without a decent lie to fall back on.

See what I mean about giving it up and just going back to bed?