It’s an old expression, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy” but it is still very relevant today and something that many parents seem to have forgotten in the race to ensure their offspring is smarter than everyone else’s.
Well we would all like to think we have bred little geniuses, but the truth is that not many of us do. Sure, some kids are naturally brighter than others and while it’s nice to encourage them, the thing is that bright kids will shine all on their own if left to their own devices, but the average ones are going to really struggle if pushed to achieve beyond what they are capable of. There’s nothing wrong with being average though. Or “age level” as some like to put it today. The kiddie operating on an average age scale can do well in school and go on to a good career in adulthood and parents of average little achievers should not feel let down by that because there’s nothing wrong with it.
But we are in an age where smarts are In and average is Out, hence educational programs aimed at toddlers to make them “ready for school”. How unfair on the toddler, not to mention potentially damaging. Little kids like to play and that’s a good thing!. Play is a wonderful learning tool as it allows children to develop social skills, problem-solving skills, creative skills, plus a myriad of others and the beauty of it is they have such a great time learning and developing them. Play also gets them off the couch and on the move which is also important for fitness and the development of fine and major motor skills and to build confidence in their physical capabilities. That’s how important unrestricted, non-organised play is.
What’s not important is whether or not they have an “appreciation” of classical music, contemporary (Oh how I loathe that word!) dance/drama, can read, play several instruments, are trending Shakespeare or commenting on political issues by the age of three. There is absolutely nothing wrong with average, age appropriate intelligence but too many parents are pressuring their young children into activities that just aren’t suitable or appealing to their age, micromanaging every moment of their young lives in an effort to make them, or at least make them appear to be, uber smart. It doesn’t work. Children with average smarts can improve on their academic levels via study and an interest in what they are doing but those things will not a little genius make. It will go a long way toward helping them pass their exams though, so a little encouragement in the study department is not a bad thing. But when it’s all said and done, geniuses/super smart kids are born, not made and if they do fall into the super smart category, they don’t need you to organise their lives for them as they are quite capable of doing that themselves, which they usually do!
So why don’t pushy parents get this? Personally, I think it is more about the parents being able to talk about their children’s achievements than any genuine desire just to see their kids to well for their own sake. Kids are individuals who develop at their own pace and when allowed to do that, the result is generally a happy child who grows into a well-balanced adult. The problems start when parents are hell-bent on their child being brilliant. They have to qualify for the best schools, the gifted and talented class, musically, in literature, etc, etc, etc! The average child pushed beyond their limits often ends up either stressed out all the time or just plain lifeless. Dull,in other words. The kiddie slightly above average becomes obnoxious from all the “positive reinforcement” until they crash under the pressure of being in a gifted and talented class that they can’t keep up with. The genuine little geniuses, however, are very good at tuning out over-achieving parents and just go their own way anyway so why waste the energy?
Preschoolers don’t need early academic education. They don’t need to be able to read, write and do maths before they start kindergarten. they certainly don’t need to be dragged to activities that probably have them mentally climbing the walls because they are bored beyond reason by “drama appreciation” and “music interpretation”. They are little kids.
Just let them play.