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Thank Goodness for Books

Lucky I’m an avid reader. I will go through a novel a week, sometimes two, and it’s just as well because with all the social distancing and restrictions on travel, my games of Memory, Scrabble and Monopoly are spending a lot of time on the shelf under the telly.

Not gathering dust though. One of the things I’ve been doing a lot of is cleaning. Not that I don’t normally clean, because I do, I don’t like a messy space, but when a lot of other activities are off the agenda and I’m not into daytime TV, doing an almost daily whiz around with the cloth and the vacuum  etc has become my newest normal. But at night I like to read.

And it’s just as well because my fellow players (my kids) and I can’t get together to play those games nearly often enough because of the restrictions in place to keep us safe from The Bug. And it’s killing us! Like, we’ve been known to sit up until the wee small hours with a family game, or six, and we did it regularly, when family visits could be a lot more regular. And we had the best time ever going hammer and tongs on each other in a close match.

We are mad keen Scrabblers  and get the kind of close scores that lead to “revenge” matches, one after the other after the other, then a cuppa break, and then another game, it’s great! It’s the same with Memory and as for Monopoly, it’s just open slather when we all get together over the Monopoly board.  Everyone wants Mayfair and Park Lane and once we set everything up…it’s on!

But as I mentioned, playing regularly is not happening at the moment, and attempting to play on my own, well take it from me, it doesn’t quite work. Hence books.

The beauty of a good book is that it will grab your attention from the first page and keep you happily occupied until the last. You can read a book on your own. The joy you get from a book is as good as landing on Mayfair when you already have Park Lane, and have enough money left over to put a house on each and the other players just keep landing on them…

Books even take precedence over social media with me. I love crime fiction, mystery and a good creepy story and right now I have a hot selection in several piles sitting on the coffee table (thank goodness for the local op shop) so I am one happy woman! So I am very thankful that I’m a big reader or I’d be going crackers about now because one can only take so many walks, read so many newspapers and make so many batches of biscuits and meringues. The plants have been repotted, the wisteria trimmed and, well, the house got dusted to within an inch of it’s life. Again.  I didn’t vacuum though. I showed a bit of restraint there because it was only done yesterday.

I’ll just do it tomorrow.

 

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What’s Spring without the Clean?

Spring is just around the corner (oh thank goodness!) but I’m wondering how we’ll welcome it this year, seeing as 2020 has turned all of our usual traditions upside down.

Before COVID, the coming of spring was ushered in via the Big Spring Clean. Curtains were washed, the house was thoroughly dusted and polished from floor to ceiling, windows got cleaned, rugs were shampooed and aired and all in all, the entire house got the kind of clean and polish that far exceeded the usual weekly whiz-over and it felt good. But that’s what a waft of warmer weather and the fragrance of blossoms in the air will do to you.

Post COVID however, and we are standing in our sparkling, spotless abodes, looking around and wondering what to do next because the Big Spring Clean began back in March, which is the beginning of autumn here, when we all went into lockdown. That’s right, suddenly armed with a lot of time on our hands we decided to get stuck into the cleaning in a very big way.  Like, I had friends working built-up dust out of tiny crevasses and joints on the furniture with make-up brushes and that was just the beginning!

Anyway, following the mega-clean, came the odd jobs. All those things that we’d been forever putting off suddenly became  must-do. Things got mended, painted, polished, constructed and generally seen to because it was a natural progression from the Big Clean.

And then we all moved outside because once the house was cleaned to within an inch of its life and all the odd jobs had been seen to, moving on to the yard was a given. The grass got mowed, re-mowed, and then mowed again. The gardens got weeded, turned replanted, fertilised, mulched and generally neatened up to the level of “showpiece” and it all happened between March and August because we were all at home and at a loss to find some way to fill all the free time we suddenly had at our fingertips.

But these are all the things we usually do come springtime, so what are we going to do now? We are going to be all hyped and energised with the return of the longer days and the lovely warmer temperatures we’d been longing for all winter…but with no spring clean to expel it on because we started doing all of that back in March and were done by April!

Okay, so we spent the rest of lockdown with puzzles, board games,  TV, movies and social media but that was okay because who wants to be outside in winter anyway, but now that things are warming up and we want to be out there doing things (while not going out anywhere specific and adhering to the social distancing directives still in place) we are all going to be at a bit of a loose end.  Any of us who are really desperate could get stuck into doing it all over again, but it just wouldn’t be the same, if you know what I mean.

Maybe we could just give ourselves a makeover instead, in preparation for summer, just on the off-chance we might be able to go out more and want to look good. We could dig out the cleansing face masks and the exfoliators, the nail polish and the fake tans, and get stuck into the fitness thingies we didn’t do over autumn/winter because we were too busy with the spring cleaning and the gardening. Surely there must be something we can do to mark the change of season… or maybe we could all just flop down in the sunshine and catch our breath after all that activity of the last few months.

That could work…

 

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Designer? No. Crossbred.

Since when have crossbred puppies cost four figures?

Well, probably since some savvy breeder ended up with an accidental litter of crossbreeds, saw how cute they were, and opted to make a killing, financially, via a cutesy name and some clever marketing to make it look like a deliberate creation of a whole new breed.

Except they’re not. Nor are they “designer”. They are a cross between two completely different breeds and while the purebred puppies are entitled to their price tag, within reason, the crossbreds are really not.

That’s not to say they are not entitled to a loving home and a happy life. Of course they are. That should be the life of every animal, but to call these little crosses Cavoodles and Moodles and Labradoodles (just to name three) attach an exorbitant price tag, and con people into thinking they have just paid a small fortune for something unique, is plainly and simply a rip-off.

I’m not blaming the puppies here. Most of these crosses are really cute. It’s the “designer” dog breeders who are big-time snout-in-the-trough who give me the you-know-whats, turning out crossbred puppies in extraordinary numbers and charging over the top prices for them. If anything is going to encourage backyard puppy farms popping up all over the place, it would have to be the “designer” breeders. Especially if they can get away with selling the puppies off at thousands of dollars a pup.

And why am I having this conversation? Because of the recent reports of “designer” puppies being suddenly in high demand by people cooped up at home, as a result of the pandemic, suddenly deciding they want a companion. A dog would be nice. Preferably a French Bulldog (the current trendy breed) or one of those crossbred designer puppies. Either will look good in social media posts and will be a cute distraction from the four walls.

I just hope they realise they are responsible for that puppy’s health and wellbeing for the length of its life. Pet ownership is a long term commitment, not a short term distraction to keep its owner entertained for a few months while in lockdown.

Anyway, French Bulldogs can go from anywhere between $6000 to $15,000 each. A Moodle (Maltese x Poodle) is $6000 plus, ditto a Cavoodle (Cavalier King Charles Spaniel x Poodle). Thing is, if a Moodle was advertised for sale for what it really is, a Maltese/Poodle cross, that price tag would get laughed out of town because people would rightly conclude that a crossbred puppy, no matter how cute, was not worth six grand! But if it’s called a Moodle, a Designer Puppy… I know, right? Some people have far more money than sense. And probably shouldn’t be allowed to own a dog.

Once upon a time though, it was whichever purebred dog was the current status symbol that fetched a ridiculous price and unfortunately, many got dumped in pounds and shelters when they went out of fashion, to make room for the next hot breed puppy. But now it’s Designer (mix-breed) puppies that are all the rage.

But if people are really genuine about taking on a canine companion, why not visit one of the animal shelters that have many, many puppies and adult dogs just crying out for a forever home. They could have their pick of the number of purebred and crossbred (okay, maybe not the current “designer”) dogs, and there are some truly beautiful animals there who would love to be someone’s lifetime companion. And they are also a lot more affordable than the little fashion accessories mentioned above. There is nothing wrong with shelter dogs, other than they have been surrendered for whatever reason; their owner had to move away, or died, or had to move from a house to a flat. Or just lost interest in caring for a pet. And it’s sad. But equally sad are the “designer” puppies, whose status as a fashion accessory can drop as quickly as it began, when the next new “designer” cross replaces them.

Some people don’t deserve to have a pet.

 

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Don’t Try This at Home

Right, so we are all in lockdown basically, which means there are a lot of things we may be used to having done professionally, outside the home, which some of us may be considering doing ourselves while unable to visit our favourite personal maintenance places.  Well that can work, in some cases, but in others it just might prove to be a very bad idea.

Can’t go to the Gym? Generally this would be fine because you can keep fit at home. Even if you don’t have any gym equipment, you do have floor space and can make do with aerobics for now. Food cans make great aerobic weights but if you’re used to heavier lifting, there’s always the couch or something. Anyway, you are making a good start by continuing with your fitness routine and adapting it to your lounge room.

But doing the gym thingy at home can also be a not so good idea if the last time you did anything vaguely exercise-like was back in your school years, or in the first days after buying that do-everything exercise machine a few decades ago, and you decide to dust everything off and do a three hour workout to kick off the New You. This will probably lead to the Totally Incapacitated You long before the end of the day and will probably have you flat on your back for the next week. Not the outcome you’d like.

Making over your house can be a good idea too, especially if you have been wanting to spruce it up a bit but have never been able to find the time. Now you have the time. It could be something as simple as a new paint job or a more complex renovation (assuming you can still access what you’ll need) but being able to utilise the lockdown time to tackle some DIY is a great way to spend the days.

Unless you absolutely suck at DIY. If you don’t know a paintbrush from a hammer, a house makeover might not be the best way to use your sudden and unexpected free time. This also applies if you have never done any painting or renovation work in your whole entire life. If you are still tempted though, just remember that you will have to live with the end result until the country is back in business again. And if you live with a partner who was adamant that you Not Do It in the first place you might find yourself living in a state of angst and tension for some time. You will really need to think this one through.

Fake tans. Although why you’d want one when you aren’t going anywhere is beyond me, but to each their own. Salons are closed right now so if you are used to having your golden glow sprayed on all nice and even by a professional, please do not opt for doing it yourself out of a bottle. Getting a bottle tan right takes years of practice (look, I don’t care how easy the directions tell you it is) and if you get it just the insy-est, tinsy-est bit wrong, you will spend the next five days trying to scrub it off and it will be resistant to every cleansing product known to woman. So if in doubt…don’t.

Waxing. If you’ve never done this yourself, stick to depilatory creams or shaving. End of story.

Hair. If it’s just colouring, and you sensibly opt for a hue that will gradually wash out, you can’t really go wrong. Even if you’re a novice colour-er and you get the colour wrong. It’s going to wash out over a few weeks and it’s not like you’re going anywhere anyway. But cutting is a whole different animal. If you are a professional hairdresser, or a really deft amateur, who can manage to do a good job using two mirrors then by all means give yourself a cut or trim.

Not a professional or a deft amateur? Then lock those scissors up. Unlike a bad colour that will wash out, a bad haircut is going to be with you a lot longer than the lockdown is and will send you into meltdown every time you look in the mirror. Just put up with the split ends and overgrown fringe until your hairdresser is back in operation. You can always tie it back or put it up until then and console yourself with the knowledge that all your friends are in exactly the same bad-hair boat. Feeling better now?

No, me neither.