The umbrella thing!

I’m starting to have some serious issues with umbrellas! Well actually, it’s probably with the people who manufacture them because they just ain’t what they used to be! Sure, I know there are bigger problems in the world today but right now, mine is umbrellas.

This has really hit home while Australia have been having the most rain we’ve had in years. The country had been in drought for 13 years to be exact so naturally, everyone was thrilled to the back teeth when the skies finally opened and this is where my umbrella issues come in. The things just don’t go the distance anymore and I’m sure I can remember a time when an umbrella would hang in there for years regardless of how it got handled and generally tossed around.

But my biggest issue with them is they they tend to pick their moments and how badly an umbrella is going to cop out on you is directly related to how far you are from the nearest shelter and how heavy the rain is falling. If it is only a light shower, your umbrella will happily stay up and intact as you go from A to B. Ditto if you are within inches of somewhere that puts you under cover, but the moment the rain turns torrential the darned thing will give up the ghost and the further you are from your car or some other form of shelter, the sooner it will do so, leaving you to the mercy of the elements!

This is so not cool!

But it does appear to be typical of the luck I’ve had with umbrellas of late and if it’s a sneaky tactic of umbrella manufacturers to up their profits then shame on the bloody lot of them and I splutter much profanity in their general direction for good measure! The thing is though, I’m not plussed on having torrents of heavy rain dumped on my head so I strongly object to umbrellas that decide to collapse or turn inside-out as soon as the really heavy stuff begins falling in earnest, leaving me wet, cold, miserable and with really, really bad hair. Sopping wet clothing is no picnic either!

And it’s not like I’m mean to them, you know? I don’t chuck them on the floor or trample on them. Bury them under shoes in the bottom of the wardrobe, let them get grotty, lock them in dark car boots or give them to the cat to play with. I don’t leave them alone in strange places. I am nice to umbrellas! I’ve always looked after mine and even had pleasant thoughts about their colour and things but apparently that all adds up to naught when I’m out and about and the rain starts falling hard. Now why is that?

I’ve also tried being understanding. I’ve resorted to flattering and cajolling. Even bribery! (just thought I’d try) But it has all been a complete waste of time as far as keeping me nice and dry is concerned and short of staying permanently indoors there’s not a lot else I can do. Well okay, I could just consign myself to getting seriously soaked to the skin and get over it but that’s not really the issue here. If I have taken the time to track down and purchase an umbrella then I expect it to do its thing and stay up, keeping me protected from the rain and that’s that! I mean, it’s not like it’s a big ask!

Like yesterday when I was out on the job, taking photographs of flooding around my local area. I was on foot but hey, no worries because I had my trusty umbrella with me! So who was I kidding! Up came a little wind, down came the heavy rain and kapput went the umbrella, leaving me stranded by the side of the road with only a jacket pocket to keep my camera dry. If I could have fitted myself into my own pocket I’d have joined the camera, I’m telling you now! Not being something I could manage however I just got seriously wet instead. Again…So. Not. Cool!

Anyway, the weatherman has predicted rain daily here for pretty much the entire month of March which leads me to ponder the next best thing for staying dry while out doing my everyday things. A jacket with bigger pockets perhaps…..?